Eternity

I'm not used to express emotions well. I believe that's how I am wired. Then again, how I believe myself to be is most likely not how I actually am. That's when impulse takes over and intention was made irrelevant. Possibly, that is when a person is most honest.

Alternatively, how a person is when he has the least energy can potentially be the most real person you can find. Least energy to drive our body fuels causes our brain to be inefficient - emotions take over and decide things for us. He, then, becomes real.

Honesty and reality are the same and different at the same and different times. As much honest and real we all wish other people to be, we also want the them to be separated - whether at the same time or separated in months or years. We live according to time and time is a factor that moves both consistently and inconsistently, i.e. it can be fast and slow moving as if you're waiting in a long queue without any electronics nor literature to pass the seemingly consistent moving time.

Eternity is honest. Real is what the clock tells you. Eternity is what emotions tell you when you're waiting for something of a significant value. It also vanishes when patience is rewarded and time starts running faster until your emotion decides to invite eternity back. Emotions we can never control is when we become real.

Then, eternity becomes real.

Eternity tells us that emotions have overtook our rationals. Real, as forwarded by emotions, becomes our new rationals. Rationals change - and often are the same things and different at the same and different times.

As real becomes honest again, eternity is immaterial.

Just Because

Sleep deprived.

Let's see how I write when I've been awake for 20 hours. Not really a big number. An average human being stay awake for 16 hours. I just exceed the normal range by 25%.

Nevertheless, it's late and let me try this.

I'm not sure whether sleep deprivation is the right term for it. I'm just staying late - intentionally - for work.

Anyway.

What can I write about at this late hour?

Work?

Love life?

World crisis?

Heck, why the bloody hell I'm here anyway to write about anything?

I'm just tired drafting some mundane report and I just thought my brain should relax for little bit by writing some other less mundane stuffs - such as this.

You know, I've always been more of a 'why' guy rather than 'how'. At least that's what I like to be, if the person that I am is not exactly what I thought I'd be.

Nevertheless.

I don't care much on how I would do anything. That can be googled, experimented, trialed and errored, etc. How we do things is not necessarily important due to that high possibility of multiple ways we can do anything.

I do care about why I would do certain stuffs. That too can be googled, experimented, trialed and errored, etc. However, the real answer to this question really lies within your own judgement rather than depending on others to write you a walkthrough.

Maybe that's not true.

I care about why I would do certain stuffs because it feeds my conscience.

I'm not sure what that exactly means.

Why: I write this because I like to do it.

How: I write this by drafting some ideas in notepad and googled certain trivial stuffs for general knowledge such as an average person waking hours, what conscience means, etc.

I'm not developing this well - but I still enjoyed this.

Ok, now, if I'm still awake after another 10 hours - I shall add some more to this entry.

Be Great

I have written a particular paragraph back in 2009. But not as the core focus of the entry but merely a supporting entity of another entirely different subject.

And as we let our own light shine, we unconsciously give other people permission to do the same. As we are liberated from our own fear, our presence automatically liberates others,

I shall avoid sourcing the above paragraph for several no-need-to-mention reasons. At this day and age, you can google it yourself to find the source - if you can't, just ask a 16-year old IT whiz kid to do it for you.

Anyway.

Today, this entry is entirely about the above paragraph - well, actually I first heard about the above from a basketball-themed movie, Coach Carter. Good movie, for a basketballer at least. Oh recently I watched Horrible Bosses - it was good, please go watch/download/purchase original/pirated dvd/blueray disc.

I don't think I'm the type that is comfortable to be in a spotlight. I usually will shy away. I'm always all for group stuffs, i.e. team sports - maybe mostly because I'm not good in any individual sports - except chess (nerd!).

But funnily enough I strived in chess when I was in a good team rather than playing on my own. This is a little bit complicated to explain how chess can be a team but we can talk about this later. Plus it was during primary school. Hence, kids stories are irrelevant, or just plain stupid.

Anyway, I like to blend in the group rather than standing above others. Sure, in my high school resume, I seemed to be a leader of many sorts. In reality, I was just the dependable type rather than a leading type.

I shall skip to explain on what's the different between the two above types. Not gonna waste my time elaborating unnecessary stuffs (except this sentence).

To put simply, modesty is overrated.

Well, maybe lets keep the good value of modesty in ourselves.

Nevertheless, to a certain context, by letting ourselves go and shine as bright as we wanted to be, we automatically allow others to do the same. I know its nothing different from what was written up there but how about this - by modestly keep your lights on with fear that it might blind others, you're setting a modest standard to light shining.

Ah crap.

I really don't know how to tell this story better. Have my writing skill deteriorates over this few months?

All I want to say here is that I want and will be the greatest in what I do. I will not lose to anyone (should there's any competition) and I will let everyone knows that I'm the best in what I do (again, repeating without improving the original sentence sheesh).

By doing that, you shall do the same. Probably in whatever you do and hoping its not the same as mine. But if its the same, keep your nose clean because you gonna spend a lot of time trailing my a**.

Well, that's not nice. I'm doing this all wrong.

Just be great - voila!