Helpless Little Baby

I just took a maturity test from YouThink.com and the result was somewhat rather shocking to me. I got an F and I was told that I am a helpless little baby.

“Maturity is: The ability to stick with a job until it's finished; The ability to do a job without being supervised; The ability to carry money without spending it; and The ability to bear an injustice without wanting to get even”

-Abigail Van Buren-

Well, a few things in mind to set here;

1. I took the test for fun, with a hint of curiosity about how mature I actually am.
2. I was shocked, not because I thought that I should've been mature. Just the way they put the result with the oversized 'PATHETIC' is kind of disturbing. I was rather insulted. Huh.
3. Well I did expected to be at least something near maturity ke. So sad. So very sad.
4. Ah, making a list is fun. Although I really don't want to stop just here at 3. I am better than this.
5. Well stop at 5 seems adequate. There's hardly such list like "My top 4.. or 4 Things to.."

I took the test again afterward. It's not that hard. It's just a 10 question test so I figured that I should give it another shot. This time I went for all the typical answer that I think a boring mature person would have answer. Well, I thought that if I did good on this one, it possibly tells me that I can act mature if I wanted to.

Surprisingly, in a different kind of shock, I got an A this time and I am then arrived at being mature.

Another list of things in mind;

1. I took the test again because I am in denial of being accused as pathetic. The bloody test was making me insecure and starting to hurt my self-esteem a little bit.
2. I was, again, shocked, but not because of any inappropriate use of font on the result, but because I actually believed,well, a little a bit, on the result given earlier, that I am pathetic.
3. I secretly would like to fail it again just to prove to me that my denial before was wrong and I actually am pathetic. Not because I have low self-esteem. This patheticness could teach me to keep myself humble and give me something to work on as this year's resolutions.
4. Apparently I was right and the test is flawed. Tommy is fed, after puasa for so long.
5. I am back to be that bloody perasan matang handsome boy again.

Does maturity defined as similar to one another? I can tell a guy that he's not a mature dude, but a friend might argue about it and he's willing to put his life on the line to prove me wrong. Is he stupid or my definition of maturity is the ultimate explanation of all? Or it is just simply comes down to how we deal with this kind of situation?

Just for thoughts.

Here's a video by a person, who may be just a high school dropout supermarket toilet cleaner, or possibly an educated PhD graduate who's working a cure for cancer, which my point is that it's up to you to decide to be prejudice or reckless on who wrote it to say whether his or her definition is credible or not to take into our consideration, about what maturity means to him, or her. Well, I think it's just beautiful anyway.



Maturity
Doesn't reside in refusal
But in acceptance
To mature, one has to accept to change
Otherwise
How will we overcome our rancours?
The aspect of something
Must not be mistaken for its true nature
Therefore
A harmful act
Doesn't mean a harmful person
Acceptance
Makes us more mature

Don't we just love YouTube? It reminds me of this one video that I watched last year in one of my classes. It could be nice to spend 5 minutes to watch this small clip made by a professor of Anthropology in Kansas University.



Two videos in one entry. I'm on the roll baby yeah. :D

A 2 Minutes Worth

I certainly got nothing to write nowadays. Here I am typing some stuffs while thinking of what kind of entry should I write next.

Still, no clue.

The literature side of me is taking a terribly long rest after doing nothing near tiring activities. Still nyotnyeting irrelevant stuffs hoping some ideas might kick in while I'm still in this typing mode. The fingers and wrist have already warmed up nicely and it is such a shame to not come up with something pleasant to share with the lovely readers.

...

Damnit.

All That Jazz

I was in the band in high school. Well, not in that cool type sort of band with electric guitars and drum set. Wind orchestra. Brass band. Either one, I'm not sure, but we're certainly no philharmonic. Anyway, I was proud being one of the school's band members. We started as complete amateurs and worked our way up into decent and passionate musicians.

I was exposed to this wonderful world of music (Wow!) when I was about 6 years old when my parents sent me for Yamaha piano lessons - I got interested when I saw my brother practice at home and later hated it after a few years of that annoying piano teacher. After I got into high school, that interest came back with a bonus of everlasting fellow musicians. Awesome. Music is much more fun when learned and practiced among our best of friends and exciting educators. I say, music depicts best of its meaning under positive environment and the purpose of its melodramatic sense of representation is to touch our hearts and minds to their deepest empathy. Wikipedia would give you a different definition but hey, feel free to quote mine anytime you like. *Grin*

After high school, my dream of playing in a band (That cool type sort thingy mentioned above) came true when I found some awesome friends along the way to let me play with them. Until now, I always have enjoyed all the company I had playing such variety range of style and genre. That's the beauty of music. One instrument can funk its way from retro jazz into pop rock rhythm and ballad and creates this wonderful poem that touches our heart so much more than when we're listening to Buletin Utama, no matter how hot the news anchors are (Perhaps).

Anyway, here's a list of some stuffs that I wish to have in this lifetime;

1. Get myself an awesome digital piano, say one of the nice Yamaha Clavinova CVP series? You guys should try one of these babies at any music store close to you. Don't know how to play the piano? Doesn't matter. It'll still sound awesomely cool. Good Roland's would do fine still.

2. Find a decent Martin acoustic electric along with a nice alto saxaphone by Yanagisawa (I am too demanding. I can live with Yamaha anyway).

3. One of the rooms in my future house will be made as my own personal music studio. It'll have its own awesome super computer together with the digital piano, acoustic electric and saxaphone mentioned above and setup for awesome audio making and recording, which perhaps will require several other awesome hardwares. I'll call it the 'Awesome Room'. I will have that room for my own personal use and possibly a bat cave to train my own family band with my kids (Well you know like those Corrs and Hansons type) and we'll go and save Gotham City from evil villains. And owh, making out with Batgirl on the keyboard would be nice. Yum2.

4. Friday/Saturday night chill with a small band at a small restaurant/cafe. Weekdays is possible too. Sandwiches Restaurant could do it on Wednesday night so yeah I figure that will work too. Either way, I always wanted to perform in a small band in places as such. Such pleasant atmosphere. Mamak works fine too I guess.

5. Send my kids to music classes. I'll teach them myself a little bit as well. They will love music whether they like it or not. They'll soon grow to be good at it. One of my wedding anniversary with my wife later on, they should by then know how to play our wedding song, theme song, or whatever they call it these days which I assume the missus would love it, and they'll play it while we're having an awesome candlelight dinner by our house (Assuming we have garden somewhere. If it's a condo/apartment, well, some place nice I think).

There. I wonder whether its achievable. Well, dream big they say and from the book of Secret of the Universe, we visualize and the universe will respond and grant your wishes. Bismillah~

Friday Night Light

I often come down to Shah Alam every Friday to play basketball at UiTM outdoor court near the sports complex. I love Shah Alam. I grew up there until my family was then moved to Bandar Baru Bangi when I was about 10 years old. It was certainly not a smooth transition.

Coming back to Shah Alam every week indeed gives me a sweet kick down memory lane. What exactly I love most about this town anyway?

1. I got lost in PKNS for 3 hours when I was 5. I found my favourite comic book store since then.

2. Walking from SRK Raja Muda to PKNS then back to Kolej Delima 5 ITM was my first historical adventure as a young 8 years old explorer.

3. I started to love basketball here when I saw this dude shooting hoops alone at that basketball court I mentioned above.

4. Section 3 is awesome. Too many stuffs happened there. Stranded car. Head scar. Constant supply of Alam Perwira and Dewata Raya.

5. Chess is fun there.

6. Good friends. Too bad I hardly keep in touch.

7. Simply, I just grew up there. That is awesome enough.

This listing stuffs is really coming around to me. Syok2. What's next? Top 10 of My Future Musical Fantasy yeah.

Faithful Cupid

I had this conversation quite a long time ago, where we questioned whether do we really need a boyfriend/girlfriend in our lives. I had it when I was about 14 years old I think. Amazingly, it is still a mature question I would still like to ask myself today.

My best buddy just spent a week with me staying at my place. Awesome. A companion I can never replace in my life. During his visit, he brought me into his world, meeting his friends of many differences. Meeting new friends. I'm not that good in making the first impression, especially when given that I don't need to. Although I do think it is worse even when I actually try. Insecurity. I do tend to pull too much effort in impressing people for no reason. I think. Maybe I am not. Well, what do you care if I'm not being honest here anyway. Unless you're stalking me and have that interest in getting to know me better, hola me up and probably we can have a nice coffee chat together.

Anyhow.

Meeting new friends. Well, lets narrow down the scope - say, females? Women, girls, awek, etc. I am single. Let me lay this down that my last real relationship I had ended about 3 years ago. Well, I only had one girlfriend for my entire 22 years of life. Did anyone actually know that? 3 years of being single ain't easy. Well, it's not that hard either heh. Yet, there are times for some small hibbity hop here and there, fun and very enjoyable, but nothing real ever came out of it. At this point, I do think there are several of you might feel connected to this entry I'm currently writing here. The bestfriend, the ex, the hibbity hops and the new female friends. Tricky. It's not something I would like to write about. Yet, I just feel that why not I open up a little something for the sake of love for public literature?

There are a few reasons that why am I still single all this while. Some actually just throw that assumption that I'm somewhat homosexual (Cibey ah aku straight la oi damnit). Some of my friends did asked what kind of a female companion do I actually like. Sadly, I can never answer that question due to several further reasons. Some just, "Lepak la weh muda2 lagi bole la kite enjoy2 sana sini dulu,". Luck. I envy them who has found their true companion. I pity them who assume they have.

The real issue? I hardly even care about any of these stuffs. Maybe. Thoughts are easily made for the routine exercise of the mind. In fact, I still think I haven't open up enough. I haven't spill out the reason why am I actually still single. I don't think I need to. Well, when will I care?

Soon. I hope.

Loo Time

Top 10 Things to Do in the Toilet

1. Pee. Duh~

2. Sing, or practice speech or conversation before (or perhaps, during) a date. It can be extra awesome if the toilet has those unusually large mirror. Vain, perhaps. Well I rarely do this anyway so it comes out far from popular on this list.

3. Read. Common. I have my Shin Chan and my sister's Cleo, Cosmopolitan and many other female oriented magazines to company me during my loo time. Female magazines are awesome.

4. Introspection. I would say that this is probably the most commonly favourited by many of us, besides peeing and reading. Such perfect ambience for us to sit down surrounded by white clean tiles and cool air which help us tremendously getting to fall into that thinking zone. I got most of my ideas for blogging here. Nice.

5. Try handset games. Yes, I got my Snakes, JetFighter, Bubbles highscores here. I wonder how would I do if I bring my laptop and play Dota here. Hmm.

6. Check and reorganize my wallet. It seems that my wallet keep having this many nonsense rubbishes that came out of nowhere. Flush them down flush them down.

7. Conversation with thy neighbour. I rarely done this before. A few weeks ago I watched this Harold and Kumar Trip to White Castle movie and there's this scene they have 2 chicks talking with each other in their respective toilets. Seems fun.

8. Battleships. Watched in the same movie above. Never done it. Would love to.

9. Rock 'n' roll. I love to bring my guitar into the toilet. Something about the interior space there that gives me that exciting acoustic experience where every single sound or tone that comes out from each of the strings appears so solid and such distinct. It's like having my own personal jamming studio in my toilet. Awesome.

10. Think of a better list. This is crap. Flush them down flush them down.

Read, Write and Read Again

Educational readings. Do people actually read thoroughly? Well, perhaps that I often jot down some academical entries that I know that most of you won't actually finish or even start reading them. Sustainable issues, teleological cosmos, cultural variation management, politics, Freud's theory for the conscious brain, personality development, sports, etc. I, which may believe, like to read. Well, a certain range of literature products at least. Comics, Reader's Digest, Time Magazine, Remaja (Unfortunately yes), blogs, Yahoo articles, certain columns in the newspaper. Not novels though. I do wish I can make myself to like reading those super thick with super small writings and melodramatic graphic on cover books. I do, however, realize it is an excellent form of literature to read and yet, I still find myself drifting far away from it, sadly. Either way, reading is always good for you. Despite the fact that I can only absorb a small amount whenever I read anything, that small percentage of knowledge gained gives my everyday life a bit of value for me to take into my good night sleep.

Anyway, there are many ways to attract our attention into literature. Graphics is one of the most popular method where people decorate their websites nicely for us to browse through, modern and hip designed magazines, or simply just a hot model on cover of FHM or even Computer Geeks magazines today. I did mention before in a past entry that it would be nice for me to put on more photos in this blog thus it will become more attractive and you suckers would love to see more photos than spending some time reading each small and boring alphabets on a line. Anyway, putting that aside, there's another interesting method to draw reader's attention that I would like to share with you guys.

The Power of 10
Ideas by James Poniewozik for TIME Magazine

We are kind of obsessed with lists as such; Top 10 Games of the Year, Top 10 Sexy Models in Tibet, Top 10 Things to Do in the Elevator, Top 10 of Top 10 Lists, etc. Indisputably, it is fun for both listmakers and list readers as well. How come this simple yet magical concept of literature amazes us so much? Here's a few ideas by James that I think rather interesting;

1. God made us do it. Yes, many religions use this concept of listing stuffs. The Ten Commandments, The Five Precepts in Buddhism, The Five Pillars of Islam, etc. Well, it's easier to read and remember that's for sure. Although I think it is also easier for me to remember the names of the 25 Prophets of Islam through a Nasyid song by Raihan. Well, that's another story anyway.

2. Words suck! Numbers rule! At least, that's the operating principle of much media today. Newspapers need to be like TV. TV needs to be like YouTube. It's the era of PowerPoint. It is more fun to watch Top 10 NBA Plays on YouTube than reading the result report on newspaper ain't it? Duh~

3. They are web-friendly. Lists are inherently bloggy. They're bite-size, they're opinionated, and guaranteed to incite a conversation, which most probably into a kind of argument. Owh well, it is interesting nonetheless.

4. Branding! And it is not just in the sense of selling stuffs. It makes them definitive and catchy - a number and a catchphrase do wonders. FHM 100 Sexiest Women of the Year. Awesome.

5. Because the other guy is a moron. List is a way to state authority, and a way to challenge one as well. Do people really enjoy reading a list they totally agree with? No! Good lists engage readers, enrage them and flatter their ability to think of better examples. A list isn't truly right unless it's a little bit wrong. Fascinating.

6. We crave justice. In much of our world today, everyone is special and every contribution is valuable and every child gets a trophy for playing. However, in a list, there are values. Things are good enough or they are not, and that someone has made a damned decision about it. (Although I am rather confused with this. Oh well, James said so)

7. This is a hype society; we're constantly focusing on the next thing, the new thing. The year-end list is our single chance to pause, to see what held up over time, and to note, by omission, what we got overexcited about. Remember Evan Almighty? Well, neither do the Top 10 movie lists.

8. Because the universe is random and senseless. The alternative to sum up a year in any field with a big list is weaving its elements into some grand what-it-all-means theory. But sometimes life is just one damn thing after another. And so are lists: they impose order without making false connections. On a Top 10 list, apples and oranges live together in juicy harmony.

9. Because life is short. In the end, a list is about one thing: the person who wrote it. Making a list is like making a mix CD for a crush; you do it in the hope that if someone sees what you believe matters and is great in the world, he will see to your core and know who you are. Lists are a means of asserting identity, saying "I was here". Especially at the end of the year, when we reminisce about time past and think about how much time we have left. While we are still around, we want to be known and we want to be heard.

10. Finally, because if you put numbers on it, people will read anything, however trite, trivial and insipid, from beginning to end.

Coming up next in NJB, Top 10 Things to do in the Toilet.

Think Green

Carbon Footprint
Measure of the impact human activities have on the environment in terms of the amount of green house gases produced, measured in units of carbon dioxide.

-www.carbonfootprint.com-

Well, how is this actually concerns us? Everything. Literally. Anyway, you can google them yourself if you are curious and interested on building some self-conscience on how every steps we take, again literally, is causing impact on our surroundings.

Here are a few things that we could actually try and think about (Yes, I ask nothing more but a mere thoughts of yours into this issue. Anything afterward is purely up to you) to help save the environment;

1. In public toilet, it is a lot better to use the electric hand dryer than the paper towel. The hot air only consumes much less energy that is needed than making and transporting paper towels and manages the waste. Statistic aside (Which is proven by the way), using hand dryer is more hygienic (Doctors said so).

2. Dishwasher or by hand? Good news guys, dishwashers are better for the environment. Well it really depends on how you manage them by hand anyway. That if you are really particular about how much water you use when washing the dishes by hand. Either way, as grateful I am for the modern science today, get the latest dishwasher, stick to full loads and use no-heat and air-dry option and you’ll be saving our environment a great deal.

3. Washing machines. Get the front-loaders, no excuse. Check for energy and water ratings as well. Clean the filter, use minimum amount of detergent, stick to full loads, again, and try to use cold water. Again, the Earth is smiling back to you.

4. A statistic for you; by eating 3kg less red meat in a year is equivalent to reducing household water by half. A tip; try for Meatless Tuesday.

5. Hybrid cars aren’t that a big breakthrough in saving the environment. In monetary terms, you might as well use the extra money for rainwater tank, energy-efficient appliances, etc. You still can go for the cool cars; try the smaller ones fit for your use and choose the most fuel-efficient in that range. Voila. However, hybrid car is still a good addition in our project in saving our environment.

That’s about it for today. Panjang la plak. I think I can continue this later tomorrow, next week or whenever I feel like it. There are other stuffs that we can try. Green is in nowadays. The way you live. The way we make buildings. Yes, from my line of studies, we can have homes, in the future, that generates our own electricity, a lot cheaper water bills given efficient water usage system especially when we're receiving rain all year around, healthier living environment with better ventilation and air circulation. Be concern. Be green. Have a better year by reducing our ignorance. I'll try do the same and together we can make a difference.

The Morning Coffee

It is now officially 2008 and yes, I had a few rehearsals to prep myself before stepping into this new beginning invented under the Gregorian calendar. Not that I was too busy with myself until that it has been so long since I last updated this blog. Yet, who cares anyway.

Last year, at this exact date, I wrote about the history of Janus, introspection and the wish for the coming new long year. Ironically, to sum up this recent past year, it occurred to me that I have done too much of learning histories that is nothing near necessary in my life, thinking too much of pointless things that it weight too heavy for my healthy burden and accumulating quite a high ratio of wishing over adequate actions. Will it be different this year? Yes, and that has been the same thing that has been going on and on for the past few mature years of mine. We improve lives and not just starting from the first day of a year, it can be during the first day in a week or even the first second of a day. We improve lives as much as we can as often as possible. Yet, no this phrase is not and never adequate for us to turn our lives around.

How do you see your own life? What kind of metaphor do you tend to use to mirror yourselves in? For instance, do you see yourself as a painting; from a white clear canvas you have drawn and colour yourself up into something like a fine Van Gogh masterpiece in the making, or a highway where you're in a car driving on the road that may direct you in several possibilities of direction of events, or a frying pan where you cook a nice meal sprinkling with sugar and spices to prepare the final exemplary meal perfect for God in the after-life.

I will keep my own thoughts and perspective in life to myself. I am happy to share them with you over a nice cup of teh tarik fit on a nice small round table with 2 or 3000 stools. Coffee is nice as well and a nice small puff pastry would be excellent.

For now, as it may benefit you readers greatly, I have found an excellent way to improve your brain power, which I took from Reader's Digest published for December 2007. Learn by heart a list of things to do, up to 10 or more jobs, for a day that incorporate a route to something. It could be during your walk to your workplace, or going to do the laundry - try to mentally link each activity with one location; newspaper at 7-Eleven, coffee at Kopitiam, dropping clothes at laundry, etc. Then ask yourself these questions; What task follows the newspaper? What to do after laundry? Where to get coffee? And exercise yourself filling up your everyday life with more exciting things to do and try to add more activities as you become more happy going through these stages. I have not try this yet. So, come my friends and join me to improve our lives better everyday.

Have fun and I wish you all a great new year of 2008.

Minimalistic

I think, possibly, I want to be simple. I am complicated to a certain extent, I think, in certain many situations. Mostly, thinking wise, then into decisions and afterward not-necessarily-well-thought actions. Ah, why bother.

Anyway, sports.

I went to Westpac Stadium this morning to watch the football team LA Galaxy practice for tomorrow's game against Wellington Phoenix. Well, I didn't bought the ticket for the actual official match so watching them practice is good enough. It's free anyway. David Beckham was there. Landon Donovan, Cobi Jones and the legendary Ruud Gullit (I think because I believe he changed his hairstyle). It was fun watching a high level football team plays with outstanding players such as mentioned, except Ruud since he's the coach. It got me thinking though, I'm not an avid football fan. I just have general interest in sports and having to watch world class players on the pitch is something very inspiring for me. Rugby; Carlos Spencer, Brian O' Driscoll, Richie McCaw, Baseball; Ichiro Suzuki, American Football; Peyton Manning, Reggie Bush. Yet, I find myself drifting away from my own main sport. It's been such a long while since I last went and play proper basketball. Although, my knee doesn't help me much in motivating me to continue and play this favourite sport of mine. Watching the LA Galaxy this morning, I realized just how much I would really love to watch world class basketball teams play; Spain, Greece, USA with exceptional players like Juan Carlos Navarro, Theodores Papaloukas, Tim Duncan, Jason Kidd, Dwayne Wade and my all-time favourite, Peja Stojakovic. Apparently I hardly spend much on basketball substances, like buying jerseys, fancy shoes, posters and stuffs. I have no idea why. Sometimes I do question whether do I really like basketball. Heck, I love this game to bits. I won't want to question my loyalty to this sport.

I wish to pick myself up back for this game. I need find that long-gone enthusiasm of mine and start moving my lazy feet back into the court. Playing basketball in Wellington ain't that much fun, or I'm just too lazy to work my ways to make it enjoyable. Thus, rusty I have become. Owh, I just found out that there's a basketball tournament in the city tomorrow. I should check that out.

Pointless

Ah crap, I have no idea what to write anymore. The brain haven't come up with anything for me to argue about. Nothing for the mind to go critical. Maybe I read less nowadays, or don't go out that much. Yet, I do think I watch a lot of TV shows enough for me to have a lot to think and ponder about. Recent viewings; Dexter, Journeyman and my top favourite, 30 rock. Well, I guess I can talk about these fictional stories I just watch. Maybe.

Nahh.

I gonna go and do something else. Cheerio.

For Our Departing Friends

A group of TESL students is leaving Wellington for good tomorrow. It's been almost 2 years now they have been here in this capital city of New Zealand. There's not much I can tell though about this particular group of students studying here in Victoria University of Wellington. You guys might know better. Apparently my social life doesn't revolve much around them. Nonetheless, among them are a few friends that I deeply value and life here in Wellington can never be merrier without them.

TESL; Well, some of them during Ski Trip 2006


Sayda; Dikir Barat boss


Nada; Malaysian Night 2006, Malaysia Festival 2007


Sheila; M'sha


Leny and Aishah; Macam2 heh. Two of my favourites. :)


Aimi, Nisya and Nina; McKenzie 2006

Well, I guess I only manage to find that much photos for now. Thank you to all of you have contributed so much and making my life and others in Wellington so much fun all these years. I apologize for all my wrong doings and I do wish I could do something more. Hm, that doesn't sound right. Owh well, best of luck in your future undertakings and have fun back in Malaysia. Till we meet again.

Teleological Cosmos

As stated in previous entry, I'm eventually getting bored with blogging. Bored. I'm not sure whether that's the right word to use. Well, I guess I'll stick with it for the moment being. Why people actually blog anyway? Today Webster’s dictionary defines a blog as a “diary; a personal sequential log of thoughts published onto a web page," and it's actually commonly displayed in reverse chronological order where the latest entry appears first. Anyway, I don't think I want to go into that deep further critical assessment where blogging is related to political influence, business journals, educational tools, etc. Blogging, just as a personal diary for a typical everyday ordinary bloke such as I am.

Some people might use it to express opinions on matters they encounter in their daily life, to practice writing skills, or simply as a channel for personal frustrations. Some with the noble intention of adding into the world of knowledge or simply, just for fun. I have fun writing in this blog. Maybe I like to see myself growing to be a better writer in each entry. Maybe I like to voice out my opinions on certain stuffs which I won't bother to do in the outside world or on regular basis. Maybe I have no one that I could talk to lay out my personal inner thoughts, which ironically many people can read it anyway. Maybe I'm hoping that by writing joyful stuffs, some people might get inspired and they will cherish their lives as well and be happier everyday. Maybe this and that and so on and so forth.

I have no idea why I do this anyway. Purpose changes over different time, place, situation and consequences. Perhaps, I'm at a point where I couldn't find any of that purpose anymore. Some people like to write, and some just love to read. Some like to entertain, and some just love to be entertained. Some like to cook, and some just love to eat. I found myself to be in a certain common trend in doing things in my life. Although, I like to cook for myself, not others. Insecurity I think. Maybe I do care a little bit on how people judge on my special cuisines. Heh. Most of the time, I don't really care. Maybe I never did put much heart into cooking, or many stuffs that I do in life. Doing stuffs half-heartedly is one of my worst enemy I always have. My arch enemy. A fictional and seemingly metaphorical character which somewhat often appears around anywhere I go. I often find myself in battles between introversion and extroversion. Indecisive or confused. Possibly the cause for my half-hearted disease.

I have not yet to reach the point of quitting this blog. Everything in this entry was halfly written in metaphors. In description of many of other things I preciously value. I am a nobody. Writing some insignificant stuffs for readings I wonder whether if it gives you pleasure or any kind of benefit at all. I don't want to be a nobody anymore. I want to write something where it has value and people actually benefit from it. I want to make something worthy of my own contentment. I want to feel good about myself. This is not a channel for my own personal frustration. Maybe it is rather fictional or too melodramatic. Yet, I write for my own benefit, and I wish your readings will do the same for you too.

Enjoying Childhood

I'm not that in the mood to write anything much nowadays. Despite a year of having so much fun with this blog, I have soon to arrive at a point where I couldn't care that much anymore. Recently, everything I went through my life apparently brings more meaning in my life more than the whole last 3 years I went through. Good stuffs bad stuffs. Maybe just the epiphany I needed. Maybe not. The point is, maybe I eventually come to the point that I don't need to blog anymore. Perhaps.

A few days ago, I took a stroll down Lambton Quay, with the initial intention of getting myself a nice set of sushi at Midland Park. There's a books store nearby, Borders, something like MPH that we have back in Malaysia. I think it just opened for a couple of months and I did had that plan to come and hang out there for a bit but never did happen. Anyway, it was a nice sunny day and sushi can wait as I stray my way off my original course for the afternoon into the wonderful world of literature collections.

I used to love to hang out in MPH and read some books; self-helps, musics, comics, humor, etc. It was such a great refreshing feeling to wander inside a large books store like Borders. So many books to pick from and read freely and the eager feet lead me first to the kids and young adults section. Asterix and Tintin. My all-time favourite children literature. Nothing beats a nice sunny day shining through the large glazing walls of a large air-conditioned books store shading light for our ever so wonderful literature experience. Every second was such an enjoyable experience and sushi was never tasted so good afterward. Something about how a good feeling can last for a day or two and infect so many other things as well. For that day, a childhood pleasure with a bottle of Bundaberg Peaches and a nice set of sushi. Life is getting better. I wish for you readers as well.

Happy Anniversary NJB

Yesterday, 16 November 2007, marked a one year long of this blog that has been contributing ever so generously into my life. If this is blog was a girl, I'd be in big trouble for being late to remember our anniversary. Anyway, it has been a great 12 months we've been together and I wish for an everlasting happy us - well, perhaps, given what future may bring and blogging may ain't be cool no more. Anyway, cheers for all readers, whom had read, commented, made fun of this blog with others, or forward some stuffs in the spirit of sharing, I am blessed with great companion in my life - both cool and nerdy life. Thank you.

Going into a new chapter of this blog, my name is NJB and I'm still here to write. Hello.

A Tad Less Ordinary

What makes you feel like walking down the waterfront alone with reasons you didn't plan yet expecting to appear along the way? A single plan - to find more of other purposes for the journey. You choose one path of road of knowing nothing more than it's just a paved walkway searching for a certain number of steps suffice to feed the empty soul of what it desires. One small step for a man, a milestone for humanity and let say many of us are aiming for something in between.

Walking down Manners Mall, it was a small intention of having a light Sunday stroll of possibly a nice French Crepes or McDonald's Ice Cream Sundae. Some starts with a psychological barrier that nothing else is accepted other than a leisure walk or some might open up for possibilites of exploring the whole mall for potential self-complacency. In other words, are you flexible or paranoid of not trusting yourself? Some of us do love to create their own rules in life of what to do and what's not. Principle, is it's name to an extent. Anyway, humans are strong and weak, sometimes separately and frighteningly at the same time. Confidence and vulnerability is a mixture of sugar and salt and being an excellent chef myself, some cookings would require the pure balance of both and some might need more weight than another. You might prepare the meal for yourself and sometimes others and either way, you can't help yourself but to taste it before you serve them and thus, you learn in every steps that you make.

You choose one path, with a single note wrote as, "Walk down Moores Avenue," and that's all that you might need. The note was taken from your desk, not knowing who wrote it, with possibilites that you might have jotted it down yourself unconsciously. Regardless, you grab your jacket, a watch, cellphones and some cash and head down to town to try your luck. You see a young couple sitting down a small bench by the fountain as the man is accompanying his lady friend reading possibly an old issue of Asterix - good stuff. A kid is running away from a middle-aged man probably playing hide and seek - a weird one where the seeker, looking like a typical hobo holding out a stale candy stick. A car passes by, an old Mazda 323, reminds you of so many things a car could represent - good times, difficult journeys, irreplaceable company, annoying co-pilot, awesome air-conditioning, a night in town and a scar in life. That's the journey for today. You see a nice cafe down the road to the left, and thought that it was enough of a good walk down this Moores Avenue, you change path and stop by sitting next to an old friend, once a childhood love, an exceptional companion that cost you about $3 a cup. Looking back of the journey that teach you today that, never give your girlfriend your special copy of your favourite comic book, don't sell your car of 30 years and please, advice your child to never talk to strangers or better of, don't let them wandering alone on streets you might never know it's kidnappers day out.

A journey can bring you so many things in forms of unlimited possibilites - driving down Highway One, walking on the beach, eating pancakes, falling in love, robbing a bank, buying a watch or writing out your thoughts. What you see now, what past you have stood by, and things you might enjoy in the near future. Life is beautiful. I said it before. I'm painting it in new colours I just found at Mitre 10. It got this special marbly effect - kinda nice. I got it with a marker, I'm no expressionist of an artist, I would just doodle something at the end, just to humour myself with stickmen cartoons.

Values and Cultural Variation

Value, as defined in management terms, is what you believe that a particular way of doing stuffs or that state of existence of things is personally and socially preferred than the opposite one. Meaning, there are times that when you want to do that stuff, you need to go right because going left will make you morally wrong.

Value, that you believe nonetheless, does not necessarily bring the same meaning to someone else. What you think is right, is most probably perceived as wrong by that another person - and vice versa. Moreover, when we actually have this differences between us, each of us changes from one time to another, from this place to there and from one circumstance to another. It gets more complicated.

Empirical. Stubborn. Skeptics. Pessimist. Nihilism.

Anyway, people are different among geographical position and time lived on Earth and sometimes you yourself even change through time, place and different circumstances. At the end, some of us gave up on understanding others and sadly, settle for the easiest option available. It's rather human nature really, we tend to go for the easiest option. What works for us the easiest way and not what's the most effective and beneficial alternative for all of us to enjoy. Ah. A sniff of denial. No, we aren't that way. Some of us do think of others and strive for living life joyfully together.

Dominant Values Through Generations

Protestant Work Ethic (1940s - 1950s)
Strive for hard work and value conservation.

Existentialism (1960s - 1970s)
Working for quality of life, seeking independence and value for individual self-being.

Pragmatism (1970s - 1990s)
Raising importance of ambition and achievement and value loyalty in career.

Generation X (1990s - present)
Exercise flexibility and secure self-satisfaction and leisure time and emphasize on loyalty to social relationships.

Well, all above are just extracted from a management theory came up by the Americans, which I took from my lecture notes. Heh. It just something to ponder about when we have differences between us - that some of us value the importance of striving for personal achievement and others who value more of impact on social conduct. Well, you can believe whatever you want to believe. It's your choice to do decide on what you want to do on anything. I'm actually at a point that malas nak tulis dah. Apparently I'm not that fit to write much anymore. Well, it's something for you guys to think I guess. I might write something more profound in the future I hope. What is good for you is not necessarily good for me. However, there is this possibility that it is. Welcome to the casino of life.

Happy holiday my fellow readers.

Drive Safely

Hari Raya Commercial by Proton



Ehehehehehe.

20 Minutes

I have a computer - a personal computer, a desktop, or something that is not a laptop. It's not the best one in the market but she helps me a lot during tough times. I do remember that there were times when the computer broke down and I had to sent her to the doctor for a few days, I found myself falling into deep depression of losing more than half of my daily routines. I missed her. Man I was a wreck without her. We had a good run for a few months. She treats me well and I gave her as much good care as I possibly can. Recently, she suddenly blacked out, fainted out of no reason I could think of. I panicked of course. Given a little time, I opened the window to give her some air, checked her temperature and soon, she regained conscious - relieved greatly I was. I thought of sending her to the doctor, but then, I would lose her for another few days. Maybe she was just tired. She needed a rest.

There's a small cafe nearby - Mount Cook Cafe. This place serves quite a charming cup of coffee and nice sushi. Yes, sushi. Not a normal thing to serve at a coffee place but I find myself enjoying both set of coffee and sushi very much. In fact, I'm going out in a few minutes to get me some for the third day in a row. I wonder whether it's a healthy diet like this? Although I have been missing a lot of vegetables lately. My mom would be furious. Owh yea, it's been a while since I last called home. Maybe I should do that tonight, which the same thing I thought for the last few weeks - well last time was during the first day of raya of course. Takkan tak call la plak eh?

Anyway, computer, coffee, sushi, calling home, etc. None of these are making any sense to me. I wanted to spend 20 minutes writing anything that pops into my head. Well, it was a desperate attempt to start writing about computer since it's the first thing that I saw when I start writing this. Aih? Of course la kan since I'm writing using one.

%$#^SD^#^A%#^#SD&

Chelsea won against Schalke 04. 2-0. Liverpool lost and dropped to the bottom of the table of the recent ECL stage. Rosenborg won against Valencia. Maya Karin plays a mermaid. Malaysia wins seat in Unesco. Girl killed by flying fuel tank. Scientiest found brain region responsible for optimism. Balance sheet is a list of an organization's assets and liabilities at a specific point in time. I wear a Swatch wristwatch my dad gave to me as a gift about a decade ago. I have 3 mugs at the moment on my table. My staples is blue in colour.

Somewhere Over the Rainbow

One of my all-time favourites. Watch the video. Ain't it just the most adorable thing you've ever seen?



And she's just six. Not sick, but six.