The Cautious Mask and the Coward Behind

I occassionally do welcome deep-kind of conversations at times. Apparently, I'd really love to have a few more of those more often. Introspection is a lot better done when you have company to share with. Sadly, that don't happen much. Reserved? Possibly. I'm not that certain. Confide. I choose really carefully to whom I open up to. Nonetheless, this brings to the issue of my topic; the easier choice to be taken.

Cautious is probably the reasoning I always use whenever I refuse on something I'd thought that could actually help me immensely on some certain stuffs. Don't get me wrong. Cautious may actually be the best solution. Yet, I often ended up thinking that I was just being a coward. Ahh, generally metaphorically speaking. I apologize. Heheh. No pain no gain they say. Good things require sacrifices. Risk is such a small price to pay for bigger and better future benefits. Common sense. Yes I do dig these stuffs. As mature as my reader can be, I'm pretty sure all of you'd agree that life ain't easy just to have great understanding for such fundamentals. Theory can be learnt and understood. Practical? Sigh. Every each word of progress I write here brings me deeper more frustration of how coward I have been making such wusses decisions all this while. A few companions may have been very helpful of pointing out how straight forward and easy to take a step in life. Yet, the degil mind keep differing otherwise, choosing the easier option. Yes, I love easier options. Apparently, this interest has never done me any good. Logically, things that don't benefit you should be thrown away. Again, common sense. The cycle of frustration comes back again. Sigh.

I don't want to throw away the cautious mask. Its just that the person behind it needs to change. The mask has been a good friend. I only have myself to blame about anything. Luckily, the court will adjourn for now. The trial of self will continue somewhat later I suppose. I wanted to write something about Malaysia Fest 2007 in Wellington last week. Now I'm in my 2 weeks holiday. Help me God so I will spend my time wisely. Bismillah.

Music Feeds The Soul

"Keroncong untuk Ana" and "Rasa Sayang" performed by our band M'sha for WMSO Idol 2007 on the 3rd of August.



Flat on vocal, Joe on acoustic guitar with Sheila, Adee on bass, Auni on flute and harmonica, NJB on piano and Nad on percussion.

Bloggers Beware

Woah.

At last, a mood to update this blog. Nevertheless, I have yet to come with anything interesting-for-me to write about nowadays. Owh wait, recently I've made this habit of bookmarking pages that I sort of find somewhat fascinating. So, a few days ago, I came across an article from Berita Harian Online; "Amaran Kepada Penulis Blog", or in English, "You Bloggers Watchout or Die".

"KUALA LUMPUR: Datuk Seri Najib Razak malam tadi menegaskan pengendali dan penulis laman blog yang membangkitkan isu berbau perkauman atau menghina agama tidak akan terlepas daripada dikenakan tindakan undang-undang. Timbalan Perdana Menteri berkata, kebebasan menulis atau memberi pandangan ada hadnya dan kerajaan tidak akan membiarkan mana-mana pihak mengganggu gugat perpaduan negara serta menimbulkan keresahan di kalangan masyarakat. Mereka mesti bertanggungjawab sepenuhnya kepada laman web mereka dan tidak menganggap sikap toleransi kerajaan sebagai lesen untuk menyiarkan apa saja atas nama kebebasan bersuara tanpa memikirkan kesannya kepada masyarakat."

-Retrieved from Berita Harian Online at 24 July 2007-

Well, to put in simple words, if you're not careful with what you write in your blog, particularly if it regards politics, religious, etc, you can go to jail. Freedom of speech. Tricky. Some stuffs that came into mind; Denmark, South Park, MalaysiaKini, Bloggers, etc.

"Najib dalam ucapannya menjelaskan perkembangan mendadak teknologi komunikasi menyebabkan media cetak dan elektronik kini bukan lagi menjadi pembekal tunggal maklumat."

I just recalled an episode from The Simpsons Series Episode 22 Season 15; "Fraudcast News". Ah yes, I actually remembered which episode was it. Apparently if you watch The Simpsons everyday everytime during lunch, dinner or lupper (Homer discovered a new meal), yes you can actually remember such details, sadly. Anyway, this particular episode portrays Mr. Burns as the mass media monopolist controling the information wave in Springfield. What you see on TV, what you listen on the radio, what you read from the newspaper, are all manipulated in objective to control the amount of information you can have and lure your perceptive minds to the monopolist advantages. Interestingly enough, you'd never realize such devil's scheme, like ever. However, when some small timers emerge from the deep mass media empire, bloggers particularly, information monopolists are at risk of extinction. I am not implying that the government's warning against bloggers is objected to preserve such surviving species. I am not implying anything actually at the moment.

Apparently, a while ago, I took a short few hours break before I continue to complete this blog entry and somehow, I forgot what's the point of me writing this. Anyway, before I leave this, something to ponder about;

"Bloggers put much more of a premium on understanding the medium rather than joining in,"

-Kevin Madden, US Republican Spokesperson for Mitt Romney, 2007-

In the mean time, enjoy your Sunday people!

I Wish I Own a Clavinova

I just found this song on YouTube. Awesome. "I Just Can't Wait to be King" from the Disney Motion Picture "Lion King". Favourite childhood movie animation.



I'm a moderate low-key pianist, and I enjoy not to reach as far as Elton John, Maxim, Jim Brickman or Richard Clayderman. Yet, I wish I can really play this song in the near future. This is no Mozart's Symphony in Eb. It is neither near ambitious. Just, one of those things like when you wanted to learn how to cook Tomyam ala Thai or save some money to buy that nice pair of shoes you found at Bata. In the mean time, lets enjoy this video.

ARCH 275 : Future of Architecture

Taken from Overheard in New York;

I Wanna Learn about Things before They Happen

High school student #1: I hate history. I'm flunking it, man.

High school student #2: Yeah, dude, I hate history. All we learn about is old stuff.

--2 train, 42nd St

Ehehehehe. Owh, how great would it be if we could learn about things before they happen. New academic subject to look forward to: Future. Apparently, Future of Architecture doesn't sound too ridiculous of a subject. Maybe they should have it on our study syllabus. We learn history as a preparation for the future. It can't be the other way around, so we learn future for what then?

The Artisan - Crafter

I'm taking Management Principles and Practice, or BBSC 363, as one of my subject electives this trimester. One of the exercises for the course is about knowing ourselves, our trait and personality for corporate, career and most important of all, our own personal development. We are asked to log into a website and take the Keirsey Temperament Sorter-II test. You can try it as well by registering a few minor details and off you go. You don't have to take the advanced test report as it'll require payments from you - and we both know we're all kedekut kan? kan? Mini-report is sufficient for you to know roughly what trait do you belong to.

There are four temperament types; Artisan, Guardian, Idealist and Rational.

I am the Artisan. All Artisans share the following core characteristics;

• Artisans tend to be fun-loving, optimistic, realistic and focuse on the here and now.
• Artisans pride themselves on being unconventional, bold and spontaneous.
• Artisans make playful mates, creative parents and troubleshooting leaders.
• Artisans are excitable, trust their impulses, want to make splash, seek stimulation, prize freedom and dream of mastering action skills. (Wow!)

Artisans are the temperament with a natural ability to excel in any of the arts, not only the fine arts such as painting and sculpting, or the performing arts such as music, theater and dance, but also the athletic, military, political, mechanical and industrial arts, as well as the "art of the deal" in business.

Artisans have exceptionally keen senses and love working with their hands. They seem right at home with tools, instruments and vehicles of all kinds, and their actions are usually aimed at getting them where they want to go, and as quickly as possible. Thus, Artisans will strike off boldly down roads that other might consider risky or impossible, doing whatever it takes, rules or no rules, to accomplish their goals. This devil-may-care attitude also gives the Artisans a winning way with people, and they are often irresistibly charming with family, friends and co-workers. (And the ladies too, perhaps?)

Artisans want to be where the action is; they seek out adventure and show a constant hunger for pleasure and stimulation. They believe that variety is the spice of life and that doing things that aren't fun or exciting is a waste of time. Artisans are impulsive, adaptable, competitive and believe the next throw of the dice will be the lucky one. They can also be generous to a fault, always ready to share with their friends from the bounty of life. Above all, Artisans need to be free to do what they wish, when they wish. They resist being tied or confined or obligated; they would rather not wait, or save, or store, or live for tomorrow. In the Artisan view, today must be enjoyed, for tomorrow never comes.

They are four types of Artisans; Composers, Crafters, Performers and Promoters.

I am the Crafter. Crafters are the true masters of tool work, with an innate ability to command tools and to become expert at all the crafts requiring tool skills. They love actions and know instinctively that activities are more enjoyable and exciting, if done impulsively, spontaneously, subject to no schedules or standards but their own. Of all the types, Crafters are most likely to be risk takers, pitting themselves or their technique, against chance or odds.

Crafters are hard to get to know. Perhaps this is because they tend to communicate through action, and show little interest in developing language skills. They let their actions speak for them and their actual conversation is sparse and brief. They can also be wonderfully generous and loyal to their friends, teammates and sidekicks, often giving up their evenings or weekends to help with building projects or mechanical repairs-house remodelling. On the other hand, they can be fiercely insubordinate to those in authority, seeing rules and regulations as unnecessarily confining. Crafters will not usually go against regulations openly, yet will simply ignore them. More than anything, Crafters want to be free to do their own thing, and they are proud of their ability to do it with an artist's skill.

---------------------------------------------------

Hoh! That's about it from the complete article regarding the Artisans. I'm the creative mind and a slacker as well. Heh. Really. The lecturer actually pointed out that day that Artisans have the tendency of not passing into university because of their rebellious trait. Slacker. Tsk3. I do feel somewhat familiar with some of the details described. Nonetheless, I don't think that I do possess all of the traits illustrated as an Artisan. What say you? Or better, what are you - The Guardian? An Idealist? The Rational? Or the same slacker as I am?

Dark Remora and White Dovena

Once upon a time, there was a group of young teenagers, young and brave they all presume, out onto the wild roads crossing the evil King Arthur's Pass into the west coast of the old town of Hokitika.


They suddenly stopped. A sudden urge has strucked them to push the brakes of their stallions; Dark Remora and White Dovena aka a couple of Nissan sedans. Heh. Well, they just wanted to step out and took some photos. Blerh. Susah rupenye menglipur lara nih.



What's the adventure? Climbing up to the evil lair's of Ice Queen Syzaria on top of Franz Josef Glaciers.



"But mommy2 I'm scared~," says Farah, worried by the strong cold breeze on top of the mountains and the many evil obstacles and monsters that may come to defy our voyage.



"Don't worry dear. Your valiant dad will always be there to take care of you," says mom comforting her daughter while suaping dad some keropoks as he's maneuvering the Dark Remora.



Alas, the young adventurers reach the bottom of the grueling Franz Josef Glaziers. The trip went well eih? Cet, adventure konon.



Grueling I said. Yes it was. There are warnings everywhere around the starting point of the quest.



Yes, we were scared.



Nonetheless, there's always Mr Nakashi Himomoto, the legendary samurai from Japan, to lead our arduous quest to conquer Ice Queen Syzaria.



There we go, taking our first steps into the lair of an evil queen. Scary, I know.



Uu, our first obstacle - a river. How challenging.



Yet, we went through happily. "Kacang je nih," mommy said.



Mountains we climbed.



Icepaths we broke through.



"Mane Puan Syzaria?" Kerel raised an interesting question.



"Celah sini takde pon?" Ainee seemed to grow impatient.



Owh, well. Farah seemed to be very happy as she's not worried anymore because the evil ice queen was long to be found.



So, off we go continue aimlessly around Franz Josef Glaciers looking for the mysterious hidden ice lair. Pathetic. Is there any Puan Syzaria anyway?



The ice queen wasn't there to be found. "Mrs Syzaria is safe - for now," the young handsome prince pledged his will to wipe out all the evil flares off the mountain of Franz Josef.



Until then, "Zzz.."



The day after, the young adventurers continue their quest to the nearby pond of the devil - Lake Matheson.



"No smell of evil around here," the young handsome prince enjoys the beautiful scenery of the devil's lake.



Mm, yes, how come this place so beautiful can be so evil?



Ah well, we came this far. Might as well take a photo kan?



And another. We can let the evil ice queen go for now. Soon, the evil will vanished and the good adventurers will prevail.



"Kite makan dulu~" mommy insists.



Devil's lamb was served for lunch. The young adventurers feast themselves upon the dark meat from hell unaware of that was the evil plan of the Ice Queen Syzaria all along.



"Sedap je. Lantak ko le Syzaria," the adventurers couldn't care any less.



The boys were the same. Syzaria is off the hook. Let her be with her evil plans. The adventurers were tired as they spent their last day of their quest captivating the beauty of the devil's lake of Matheson.



"Tahun depan kite dtg carik Syzaria lagi ye!!" young Farah starting to enjoy the thrill of this ridiculous adventure and apparently wish for some more. Banyak duit ye?



Ahh well, it was a good trip. Dark Remora was then returned to her humble stable in Picton as we, the young adventurers, went home to our beloved town of Wellington. Blerh. Holiday is over. School just started. I wonder what's Mrs Syzaria doing at the moment?

Crap. I need to read more epic novels. First attempt to create a LOTR-like story. Sigh. Ah well, I wonder Peter Jackson could make this a movie?

Objective: Simple

Second trimester. Third year. Varsity calculation.

My twenty secondth year. It's been a while since God has sent me into this world and for so long my mom has been grooming me for this present time. Twenty secondth year. Funny. I have no idea what to feel. Except, funny I guess.

I just got back from my winter holiday. Awesome. There were two parts from my recent winter break adventures; Bersatu Games 2007 and Franz Josef trip. Where should I start first?

Bersatu Games 2007


Like every other years - awesome, or great perhaps. Overall we managed third of 10 contingents participating in Christchurch this year - I think, if I got that 'elimination concept' during the closing ceremony thing right. Not a bad performance I suppose. Above all, there's no words to describe how proud I am standing in front of a group of extraordinary people representing Malaysian Students from Wellington for the Bersatu Games this year. Ever since from my first year here in New Zealand I grew to love the orange colour representing our club, and now, wearing that colour once again in Christchurch, together with a group of friends I can never ever replace my whole life, simply, awesome. New friends. Old friends. Thats what Bersatu Games always bring to me every year. Not the medals nor the games I played. The opportunity to get to know people around me a lot better.

When orange is not just a colour.

Yes. This is my opportunity to congratulate all of WMSO Bersatu Team members for their extraordinary performance during the games. Hadi, Poki, Pae, Aishah, Usher, Flat, Calvin, Joe, Ah Hui, Kay, Kerel, Atong, Ritz, Padi, Wan Ling, Lennon, Adee, Ellie, Sue, Jijah, Azie, Ainee, Auni, Fatin, Leny, Raphael, Sean, Waznah, Chica and Ronny. My highest admiration and thank you for all of your company for the whole awesome 5 days. I really had fun with you guys. Bersatu Team 2007 rules! Owh, I can never leave out the people who've made our trip to Christchurch possible; Shaz for the van and bus bookings and Ali for the ferry arrangements. I think there are a few others who had helped in sponsorship such as Ellina, Athi and possibly there are others I think? Really need to get my report sheet straight. Sigh. And yes, two of my best ladies; Liz and Farah. I couldn't have gone through this without you girls - like reaally. Really2. Of course, finally, THREE CHEERS FOR ALL WMSO MEMBERS!!!

Owh yeah, you know, off the glitches in Bersatu management, I owe a lot of people lollipops and a fancy dinner to some of you. Please claim considerably.

Do I have to report what we've won? Nah. Find it yourself lah. There are 10 sports with sub-categories which I kinda lazy to write about. Anyway, I have to congratulate Christchurch for their awesome job hosting the Bersatu Games this year. I have to say the event organization kept getting better every year and now landing a massive burden of responsibilities for Wellington to top that trend hosting the game next year. Nonetheless, hope to see you again in Wellington next year for Bersatu Games 2008.

Franz Josef



Coming soon.

Bersatu Games 2007

Now off we go to Christchurch. It's 11:20pm now in my room, finalizing some stuffs to be taken care of before departure. 7 hours before our trip starts. Hoh, I haven't start packing my clothes just yet. Heh.

Starts with Bismillahirrahmanirrahim, may God bless our trip down to the garden city of New Zealand. May we have a great time in Bersatu Games this year. Cheerio!

BBQ Gala at Liardet

Helo guys

We're the mamats from Vogeltown will be hosting a potluck bbq sort-of-housewarming thingy on Tuesday 26 June 2007 from 1:00pm till late and we want you to be there and join us!. Lets call it BBQ GALA AT LIARDET. Sounds kinda cool doesn't it? Its rather cold nowadays. Yet, nothing beats the good heat from the grilling chickens and the soothing warmth of great acquaintances and fellow friends. There'll be lots of food - I think. Yes of course there will be! Its kinda a semi potluck thing so it will be great if you could bring some extra light food, drinks or desserts.

The theme is black and white. Good and evil. Rock and roll. Sugar and spice. The arts of yin and yang. Go nuts with it. I have no idea what I'm talking about either. Visit our website and I hope there'll be something posted up there about it. Heh.

Plus, at the same time as well, if you are coming down to Christchurch for the Bersatu Games this coming weekend, it would be great to get together here and plan out our journey and adventure down at the garden city of New Zealand. Athletes, supporters and everyone are all welcome!

Sports and Love

During my prime time of playing basketball, I wanted so much to be good at it. I think that was about 3-4 years ago. As the time goes by, my objective for the sport has changed into a social basketball player. My interest for the sport is now largely depends on whom I'm playing with. I'm not interested to go to the basketball court alone pracitising jump shots like before. It's kinda about who I can pass the ball to. Nonetheless, I still want to be good at it and slowly grow better playing this sport that I love since for so long.

Anyway, Bersatu Games 2007 is about a week away. Christchurch is the proud host this year and I heard it's pretty cold and possibly snowy down there. Ah right, I actually went there a few times already. Heh. Silly me. The Wellington contingent is preparing 31 athletes plus 50-60 supporters ready to crowd Christchurch with lots of orange and bring down the sports hall of University of Canterbury! All sports practice has been somewhat smooth, I think, up to this date. I'd say we're looking rather strong this year. Improved from last year at least. Volleyball team is now a lot better coordinated. Football team, as mentioned by the captain, is looking forward to trash all the other teams this year. Netball team just beat the crap out of the guys team from yesterday's friendly. Scary. Touch rugby, sepak takraw, bowling, athletic, badminton, squash and owh, basketball. Yet, one thing I've learned from last year's experience - everyone's getting better every time we met them on the playing field. It is quite exciting how the quality of the games is actually growing better every year. Sports is fun. Competition is better. Winning? I'd say it's a bonus for hardwork and strong determination.

I wish to quote a phrase by a famous sports journalist;

“For when the one great scorer comes to mark against your name, he writes - not that you won or lost - but how you played the game,”

-Grantland Rice-

Sportmanship is about how a participant acts before, during and after the game. Nonetheless, without doubt there'll be that evil pressure that accidentally comes to us at times during the competition - pulling us from our rationality and conscience. The hunger to win is good, yet, it is truly terrible to see how that kind of desire can turn around a person. I somewhat can recall a saying that mentioned, "You can see the true personality of a person when he or she plays sports,". I kinda strongly agree with this. However, it just one of those things that create your impression of many other things that define your definition of a person.

Owh, I'm way off track.

Anyway, basketball in the Bersatu Games. Hm, the truth to be told is, I've never actually won a single game yet over the past 2 years of my participation. This is my third year, being realistic with a pinch of faith, I hope we could break the ice that has been freezing our legs for so long. Nonetheless, what I can really be sure of, is that we won't be that easy to beat anymore and I have another week to think of some super secret mighty offensive 'pasti jadik' plays before I can say to any of my opponents later on, "Eat shit guys!".

Good ol' basketball competition. I always like participating in this kind of stuff. I look forward in meeting some good ol' basketball buddies down there in Christchurch. Like I said, it's kinda about whom I'm playing with, and I'm sure I gonna have a lot of fun down there in the garden city of New Zealand. In the mean time, for you guys from Wellington, think orange. :)

"When orange is not just a colour,"

Call of Life

I overuse the word "f**k" quite a lot. Profane. No I am not - I think. Well I'm no judge of this. You spill it out. I do think I want to be a better person everyday improving quality of life from time to time. Yet, seeming that I kept finding myself in the same spot everytime I crash into one of those harsh self-depressing introspections, I knew I never was even a step away from the disappointing person I was before.

Nevertheless, there are many things in life that kept me from walking back down those horrible dark avenues. Well not horrible I guess. I've heard a lot worse from other people. Yet, I often wonder whether is it really ok to compare ourselves to others? I'm particularly not interested knowing that I'm living a better life than others or the opposite. I guess it does feel good to know sometimes that you're doing better than the other person. Yet, I still get that if I were that other person, I would end up feeling not that good instead. A gain of a person means a loss for another. Very subjective phrase. Arguable, but I'd stand up for it.

It's been a while I wrote something on this blog. Busy? Not really. I would prefer using the word 'priority'. Recently, I did got sick of myself wasting too much time on something which I should not prioritize. Responsibility. I just turned 22. I need to grow up damnit. Yet, I still like to keep the small kid in me to play around with. Growing up sucks. Yet, the number keeps growing and hopefully, I won't be the same by the time I reach 30. Ah shit, I hope I won't be the same next month, or make it next week! I want to change. Be a better person everyday. God please give me strength. Bismillah.

Bersatu Games is in 2 weeks. Think orange.

Green Day - Basket Case

Hahaha I got this from Suraya's Friendster page. Best. I like it. Very much. Click on it to view.


The best cover version of Basket Case by Green Day. I have altered this post into a clickable reference to the original flash website as before I had to apologize as it can get rather annoying and the fact that you cannot turn it off might really pisses you off. Now I've found a way to make it won't play unless you click on it. Geeky. I know! Hahahahah.

Quality of People

Ahh, a sudden thought about this. Will elaborate more in the next few days. Just posting this up so that I can remind myself that I wanted to post something about it.

Recently I named for myself a few favourite people in my life. It feels good to figure some stuffs out about what actually makes me happy. Have good days ahead people.

__________________________________________

I recently become a huge fan of American Idol. Blake Lewis, Jordin Sparks and the pretty boy Sanjaya Malakar. Finally, the first Indian to be among the top in the competition. Although he got sacked during the Top 7. Hm, wondering how Russell Peters would make fun about him. Heheheheh. Well, from there, I started to browse around YouTube finding some great covers of many of those evergreen songs. I love cover songs. Improvision of the originals. I love songs innovation. Maybe that's why I like to watch American Idol. I remembered my sister once told me about this guy from Norway who won the World Idol in 2004.

"You have the voice of an angel, but you look like a Hobbit. Right. And the fact is if we were looking for Middle-earth Idol you'd be an absolute hands down winner"
-Ian Dickson, World Idol judge, commented on one of his performance-

I lookout for this dude on YouTube and yeah, I finally found the video of him, Kurt Nilsen, singing his winning song for the World Idol 2004 in London - Beautiful Day by U2.



He used to be a plumber before he joined the Norwegian Idol. Nice. He's no Justin Timberlake looking but hell it was fun to watch he sang his way to won the World Idol. Yes, he did sang like an angel. At least I think so. It's like he was on a weekend night out to a karaoke bar and simply suddenly thought of having fun, "Hey, maybe I want to try singing tonight," and he did it with his heavenly voice and won the world title in style. Plus, he kicked Kelly Clarkson's ass along the way. Yeah.

In Feeling of Despair

From a single breath of serenity to a series of rapid gasps of sore air of panic. My life fluctuates from a high self-esteem bloke to a timid fucked up loser quite easily from time to time. I do realize that many people have their own of things they’re good and bad at. Being different creates space and opportunity for people to contribute and complete the puzzle of life - whatever the end picture may bring. Being good in stuffs is hell an awesome feeling. Let it be feeding your own ego or just nourishing our self-esteem, having such secured feeling boost up our day and give us confidence in carrying on with our life. To put simply, it makes us happy. On the contrary, being bad in things makes you sad.

Happiness and depression are rather common feelings in life. We’ve dealt this feeling since we were a 1 year old child. We’re happy when our daddy made funny faces to us and sad when our brother took away our bottle of mommy's milk. However, regardless that we’ve dealt and experience sadness our whole life, we will never learn to cope with that feeling of despair ever better. Psychiatrists learn to cure depression and got that degree for 3-5 years. We’ve experience our misery for 20 years. Although the numbers seems very wrong but psychology does not work in numerical orders anyway.

I’m just in my low point of my life. I thought writing about depression could ease the sore feeling of misery - for no reasoning or theory to back this up at all. Owh, have I told anyone I need a girlfriend? Hahahahah. I will keep this sentence up for a while before I reconsider to edit and erase it. I need a companion. It’s been a while since I stayed single and I miss that feeling to have that close someone. Maybe I’m just depressed and thus, a nice company would be really helpful at the moment. Yet, there are so many other reasons for me to not get into this thing. Ah crap, I’m don't know what I want in life anyway. I’m pretty much fucked up recently, I’m full of shit. Crap. Taik.

Ahh, writing does make me feel better in a way up to this point. If you’re reading up until now, thank you but please, afterward, find something beneficial to do in your life. Make a difference. Change something. I’m in need of changes. Lets make our lives better to live in.

For start, let us pray al-Fatihah for all the good people that has left us recently. May their souls rest in peace and may Allah awards strength to them who'd closely shared their wisdom in life.

Pride

Towards the end of the Easter holiday, I went to Auckland with Beng, Pae, Kerel and Ainee. Beng and Pae went for the Red Hot Chilli Peppers concert and Kerel, Ainee and I just wanted to join the Malaysian Carnival hosted by the Malaysian students there. Beng was really to kind to drove us all the way for 9 hours. Thanks Beng!

Anyway, the carnival was a blast! There were 2 big occasions during our trip there; the Grand Charity Dinner with Tan Sri Muhyddin Mohd Yasin on Friday night and the Malaysian Carnival the next day. The dinner was okey. I liked the emcee. He was fun. The food was awesome as well blablabla yadayada all the normal stuffs during formal dinner. Ah, I'd like to talk more about the following day. All Malaysian students throughout New Zealand were invited to perform in the Malaysian Carnival in Auckland. Students representing their UMNO club of each state; Auckland, Wellington and Christchurch performed their series of wonderful dances of various styles and cultures. Pride. This is when the topic of this post comes in. I loved it so much when my friends went up on the stage and performed their best as they represent the Malaysian students from Wellington. I wonder how this feeling affected my judgment seeing that they did the best performance and others did rubbish. Lol. Well, that is rude. Anyway, that was not the point. I'm no expert in dancing anyway so my judgement for this matter is utterly worthless. The thing is, I've grown to love the Malaysian community in Wellington so much that whatever they do brings joy to me. I loved it when they're enjoying themselves on stage. I loved it when people in the crowd showed their admiration for the performance by Malaysian students from Wellington. It was a fun 3 days trip in Auckland. One of the biggest Malaysian gathering in New Zealand. Hope there'll be more of it in the future. Owh, lots of nice beautiful authentic Malaysian ladies as well. Nice. I'm still considering of posting some of those photos into this blog, but, well, human privacy is rather complex. Maybe some other time.

Now I'm back in Wellington. In the midst of preparing the team for Bersatu Games 2007 in Christchurch this coming July. The orange colour keeps coming on to me. 30 athletes plus a million supporters to be trained and get ready to crowd Christchurch with our proud orange colour! Nonetheless, sports practices haven't started yet. Owh well, I love sports competition. Can't wait to go to Christchurch and wear the proud orange colour. See? How many times have I repeatedly use the word 'orange'? Orange. Orange. Orange.



Tribute to all members of WMSO Bersatu Team 2006.

Proud to be Malaysian

There are probably just a few songs that can really touch us in one's life. Your song with your loved ones during your wedding, the song that helps you to get up and fight back no matter what or simply that song your first love dedicated to you when you were 5.



Ella sang this song for the 1998 Commonwealth Games in Kuala Lumpur. I like this song. Hope you do as well. Enjoy!

Today I went to play basketball up at the VUW Recreation Centre. I was actually inspired by the video clip above. I think it's been quite a while since I last shoot some hoops. Cutting down the base line was sweet as ever.

Photography

I used to love photography. Back then when I was 14 in high school, I bought myself my own first film camera. Boy I did took a lot of photos since then. I had my camera with me almost all the time going places here and there. Nonetheless, I had this bad habit (and still having it sadly) of not being able to keep things safely. Well, to cut my stories short, I had 3 film cameras throughout my 5 years of high school life. I lost one I bought another one. Well I usually used all of my duit raya, birthday money (since I was 13 I only get cash for birthday present from my parents) and allowance savings to buy 2 things; a new camera and a new pair of basketball shoes. Photography is awesome. Great memories are captured and meaningful images are kept for us to remind ourselves everyday of how wonderful life can be. Owh, do I adore photographers for Playboy and FHM magazines. Their life must be wonderful don't they?

I watched a lot of South Park TV-series lately. Many thanks to Raja who endlessly keep downloading them for our house viewing pleasure. I just finished watching an episode that I'd say one of the best ones I've seen so far. Season 7 episode 12 entitled "All About the Mormons". Mormon is something like a new cult of some kind. A new belief made by a person named Joseph Smith back around early 19th century. Google it to find more about it or just download the episode from the internet (or get it from my house) to find it in a lot more interesting way. Education is fun when it is in cartoons. It worked when you were 5 and it will always work even when you're 50. People sometimes say things about having a little kid in you, or having a small feminist side in you or some sort. Well, err, .. shit I thought about this part a while ago and I forgot what my point was. *Sigh*. I guess I have a bit of an old nyanyuk person inside me eh?

Owh, about the picture above. It was taken during WMSO Annual Picnic last March. I thought it was interesting- in many possible ways you can think of. Enjoy. My deepest apologizes to those who're in the picture. *Hmphk* :)

Importance of Education

Some people may come up and brag, "I've been doing this job for 15 years,". You can sniff the confidence in his words on how proud he is being good in what he does. The time period emphasized shows how long and experienced he's been doing the particular thing implying the length of amount in practices done for the activity. I've been playing basketball for 8 years now and I do think I am not bad in this sports. It's not about being good, really. Just the self respect in ourselves in being comfortable and confident in what we do. Of course being number 1 in the world in basketball would be awesome, but that's not the issue here.

Studying? For a person of my age, 18, ... *sigh* ok, 22, I've been going to school for about 17 years now since I started kindergarten at 5. 17 years of studying should implies that I'm good in studying. That amount of the same practice done over the years should've made me very experienced on how to study and practice education. I should know how to sit down and focus on reading and studying the Building Codes for Practice in New Zealand. I should know how to pay good attention in lectures and comfortably jot down notes throughout the 2 hours period. I should know that I need to be progressive in doing assignments and finish them in a well constructed manner instead of rushing through the last minute. I should even know the value of actually going to lectures. Shit.

Back then when the holy book of Quran was revealed, the first word of its verse was 'Iqra', which means, read. The importance of education has been emphasized since for so long and by many parts anywhere around the world. Owh how I always wish that I truly value this importance of education.

I need an alarm clock. I need to learn to wake up at a certain amount of time. I wish I can get back my high school fortitude. Waking up everyday at 6:00 a.m. and be productive all day until late midnight. All the routines for the whole 5 years. Vanished. Do you know the character from that TV-series 'Heroes', Peter Petrelli? One of his abilities is that he can recall any ability he has used in the past. I wish I have that particular power. Well, if I have the chance to choose more. I might add up flying, superstrength, blink, stormbolt, windwalk and now I'm talking Dota crap. Lol.

I'm easy, in many ways interpreted. I wish I can be stronger. Thus, all humans are the same. We progress through life, wishing and working on everyday to make things better, for himself, for her friends, for the city or for all the people in the world. Life is not hard. You yourself choose how it is going to be. I just wish all of you have a nice day and enjoy being a better person everyday.

Owh, I do think I need to add photos in my posts. It'd be more interesting you think? Mm, some other day lah.

Commitment

Ahh. Commitment. Such a big word. I never knew the meaning of this word till I was 15. I used the thesaurus to find the other word for dedication. Such a popular word back then. Murid yang dedikasi. Hahah. Anyway, the real thing is, commitment, I never knew the true meaning of this word, like ever.

What's the first thing came into mind when that word pops up? School work? Office work? Love? Social? Family? Sports? Dota? Lol. Ahh, let's put Dota as an example. Maybe it would be fun, don't you think?

Commitment. Dota. Mm, *hmphk*. Lol. Hahahahah. I can't even start. This is too ridiculous. I Dota too much recently. Hahah. Now see I used the word 'Dota' as a verb. *Sigh*. I wonder how many of you readers have no idea what Dota really is. I actually knew about this since I was in late high school. A group of my friends started getting really into this game and I kind of like "Duh? It's just a boring computer game,". Boy if my past self could've seen me today. Owh, a rather ambigous sentence. It may means that I've become a better person- or exactly the opposite. I wonder.

Anyway, yes, commitment. Taken from Farlex's TheFreeDictionary website, commitment is defined as "the trait of sincere and steadfast fixity of purpose,". I find this description of the word as very interesting. Steadfast fixity of purpose. Anything we do, at any time and place, there's a purpose. Although there're times when you find yourself wandering down Cuba Street doing nothing, there's still a small subtle purpose in it of you searching for something in value to you. Even when you're sitting down quietly doing nothing, the purpose is there. Subtle. Unconscious. Whatever you have in mind. Everyone else, in the mean time, are having their purposes in their head. Owh how I admire these people who knows what they want in life. This is when the issue of fixing a purpose in your life comes into head. My head, at least. I couldn't get through even half of the meaning of commitment. How far away am I.

Purpose: Updating this blog.

Now you see why I couldn't get even near of sitting down in front of my pc to start writing?